Keeping your children safe on the internet can seem like a daunting task. Here's a few basic tools I've come across in my own search to keep my family protected. Though there are many products available, this will give you a good start. I'll be adding useful tools that I come across, so check back in periodically for new information. Also, see my article below on videogame and internet addiction.
Norton Security Premium
Provides tools to block inappropriate websites and monitor your child's internet activities, as well as protect against viruses and other malware. It also allows you to set screen time limits on your kids' PC, Android or iOSdevices. Requires a paid subscription.
family.norton.com/web
Microsoft Family
This is a free tool built into Windows 10 that allows you to set screen time limits, block inappropriate websites, and monitor what web sites and searches your kids are performing.
account.microsoft.com/family
Open DNS
This is a free tool that blocks inappropriate websites. It requires some technical setup, but the site has instructions to walk you through it. opendns.com/home-internet-security
AVG Antivirus Free
Kids tend to click on links that will download unwanted items onto your computer. This free app blocks malware such as viruses and adware.
https://www.avg.com/en-ww/free-antivirus-download
Video Game and Internet Addiction
Jim Kramer, LCSW
Videogame and internet addiction is an increasingly growing problem around the world. By one estimate, the U.S.alone has 34 million gamers playing 22 hours a week or more. In many extreme cases, gamers’ lack of movement and attention to basic needs such as eating and drinking has lead to medical complications. Though your child might not have reached that level, you may be alarmed at how much time he or she is spending with videogames. Constant fights between parents and children over limits on screen time puts significant stress on family life, leaving parents often feeling confused, guilty, and helpless.
There is some debate in the scientific world over whether video game and internet abuse is a true addiction. The DSM V, the latest volume that mental health professionals use to determine psychiatric diagnosis, only recognizes gambling as a behavioral addiction. However, research has shown similarities in the brains of videogame/internet addicts, gamblers, and substance abusers. Though the question of true addiction is of value to many professionals, it is fairly unimportant when it comes to your child, when you sense there’s a problem.
Though most experts agree that more than four hours a day of screen time is excessive, there’s no real consensus of how much is too much. Instead, you might find the following signs more helpful:
-videogames and web surfing are preferable to spending time with friends
-more difficulties in school
-difficulty sleeping
-inability to cut down on usage, even when your child tries
-refusal to participate in family activities
It is often difficult for parents to understand the appeal of spending seven hours a day gaming. But video games are designed to provide experiences that by their nature are alluring. The gamer is able to create a fantasy world where he or she feels powerful and in control, feelings that are often missing from a young person’s daily experience. Video games are often played in teams, and gamers crave the acceptance by their online peers that they often miss in school. And though fast paced, the video game world is more predictable, and therefore comforting than “real life.” Perhaps most importantly, videogames and the internet provide a stimulating retreat from all the interpersonal problems that can seem overwhelming to a child or adolsescent.
If your gut tells you there’s a problem with your child’s computer use, then trust your instinct. Letting your child know you are concerned, without criticizing his or her behavior is a good way to start the conversation. Try to get a better understanding of why your child prefers a computer screen to another person. Let them know you understand and appreciate what they’ve expressed, but also that you will have to work together to set realistic limits. It’s usually not necessary or helpful to remove your child’s computer or videogame system. Addiction treatment recognizes the effectiveness of “harm reduction,” or reducing the harmful behavior without trying to eliminate it.
Parents and children are often unable to come to a reasonable compromise. Psychotherapy can target the behaviors and the underlying issues that frequently lead to videogame and internet addiction. But before you isolate your child as the problem, it’s worth thinking about your whole family system. Children can often become the “identified patient,” the one in the family said to have “ the problem,” when in fact, they are the one exhibiting symptoms of dysfunction of the larger family. Are there other problems between other family members, or marital problems that are being ignored? If so, then treatment for parents, siblings, or the whole family may be in order.
Video game and internet addiction can be an overwhelming problem. But the good news is, you don’t have to solve it alone. Take a look at On-line Gamers Anonymous at olganon.org. Reach out to guidance counselors and school social workers, or a trusted therapist or doctor. And remember, even though your child might not be able to verbalize it, he or she often knows deep down that they are missing out on something better. With help, that part of your child’s mind can be mobilized for positive change.
Norton Security Premium
Provides tools to block inappropriate websites and monitor your child's internet activities, as well as protect against viruses and other malware. It also allows you to set screen time limits on your kids' PC, Android or iOSdevices. Requires a paid subscription.
family.norton.com/web
Microsoft Family
This is a free tool built into Windows 10 that allows you to set screen time limits, block inappropriate websites, and monitor what web sites and searches your kids are performing.
account.microsoft.com/family
Open DNS
This is a free tool that blocks inappropriate websites. It requires some technical setup, but the site has instructions to walk you through it. opendns.com/home-internet-security
AVG Antivirus Free
Kids tend to click on links that will download unwanted items onto your computer. This free app blocks malware such as viruses and adware.
https://www.avg.com/en-ww/free-antivirus-download
Video Game and Internet Addiction
Jim Kramer, LCSW
Videogame and internet addiction is an increasingly growing problem around the world. By one estimate, the U.S.alone has 34 million gamers playing 22 hours a week or more. In many extreme cases, gamers’ lack of movement and attention to basic needs such as eating and drinking has lead to medical complications. Though your child might not have reached that level, you may be alarmed at how much time he or she is spending with videogames. Constant fights between parents and children over limits on screen time puts significant stress on family life, leaving parents often feeling confused, guilty, and helpless.
There is some debate in the scientific world over whether video game and internet abuse is a true addiction. The DSM V, the latest volume that mental health professionals use to determine psychiatric diagnosis, only recognizes gambling as a behavioral addiction. However, research has shown similarities in the brains of videogame/internet addicts, gamblers, and substance abusers. Though the question of true addiction is of value to many professionals, it is fairly unimportant when it comes to your child, when you sense there’s a problem.
Though most experts agree that more than four hours a day of screen time is excessive, there’s no real consensus of how much is too much. Instead, you might find the following signs more helpful:
-videogames and web surfing are preferable to spending time with friends
-more difficulties in school
-difficulty sleeping
-inability to cut down on usage, even when your child tries
-refusal to participate in family activities
It is often difficult for parents to understand the appeal of spending seven hours a day gaming. But video games are designed to provide experiences that by their nature are alluring. The gamer is able to create a fantasy world where he or she feels powerful and in control, feelings that are often missing from a young person’s daily experience. Video games are often played in teams, and gamers crave the acceptance by their online peers that they often miss in school. And though fast paced, the video game world is more predictable, and therefore comforting than “real life.” Perhaps most importantly, videogames and the internet provide a stimulating retreat from all the interpersonal problems that can seem overwhelming to a child or adolsescent.
If your gut tells you there’s a problem with your child’s computer use, then trust your instinct. Letting your child know you are concerned, without criticizing his or her behavior is a good way to start the conversation. Try to get a better understanding of why your child prefers a computer screen to another person. Let them know you understand and appreciate what they’ve expressed, but also that you will have to work together to set realistic limits. It’s usually not necessary or helpful to remove your child’s computer or videogame system. Addiction treatment recognizes the effectiveness of “harm reduction,” or reducing the harmful behavior without trying to eliminate it.
Parents and children are often unable to come to a reasonable compromise. Psychotherapy can target the behaviors and the underlying issues that frequently lead to videogame and internet addiction. But before you isolate your child as the problem, it’s worth thinking about your whole family system. Children can often become the “identified patient,” the one in the family said to have “ the problem,” when in fact, they are the one exhibiting symptoms of dysfunction of the larger family. Are there other problems between other family members, or marital problems that are being ignored? If so, then treatment for parents, siblings, or the whole family may be in order.
Video game and internet addiction can be an overwhelming problem. But the good news is, you don’t have to solve it alone. Take a look at On-line Gamers Anonymous at olganon.org. Reach out to guidance counselors and school social workers, or a trusted therapist or doctor. And remember, even though your child might not be able to verbalize it, he or she often knows deep down that they are missing out on something better. With help, that part of your child’s mind can be mobilized for positive change.