Some of the toys, games, and art supplies I have to help kids express their feelings in different ways
With children and adolescents, I start by creating a safe, caring environment where they feel listened to and understood. Kids need the therapist to "get them" first, before they are willing to talk about difficulties, or take in the therapist's point of view (adults, too!) I am trained in DBT, which teaches how to respond more skillfully to difficult emotions. Mindfulness is a key skill that I practice myself, and particularly enjoy teaching to my clients. I also draw from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and a Family Systems approach. However, the basis of my work is always about working towards understanding who this child and what is happening in their life, which may be creating confusing symptoms. I rely on the approach of forming a strong therapeutic relationship that fosters trust, expression of emotions, and a better understanding of the self, more than any particular method or school of therapy.
Younger children often do not express their thoughts and feelings directly. In those cases, using play and art materials, children can speak indirectly and still be heard. In addition to symbolic play with toys, I use board games to reduce anxiety, so kids don't feel pressured to talk. Games also provide lots of opportunities to work through feelings of aggression, anxiety, competition, disappointment, and self esteem. As children get older, they're able to engage more in talk therapy, but I continue to use elements of play and art whenever possible.
With adolescents, I follow a few important guidelines:
-Teens are hungry to talk to adults who are truly interested and curious about their inner world.
-Patience and flexibility are essential in creating a strong therapeutic relationship. Therapists must enter the teenager's world and let them know the therapist is always trying to understand their point of view - teens need a heavy dose of validation (which is not the same as agreeing with everything they do or say.)
-Motions towards independence and autonomy are often difficult for parents to understand and tolerate. However, these behaviors are signs of health, not pathology. By working with parents (see below) I help them to leave room for their teen's often frustrating efforts towards separation and individuation, but also identify boundaries for counterproductive, and dangerous behavior.
Working with children of any age also requires collaborating closely with parents. I believe that raising a child is one of the most rewarding, but also most difficult endeavors possible. In periodic parent sessions, I provide mothers and fathers with guidance, empathy and lots of encouragement for the huge challenges of family life. Parents are often hesitant to work with therapists, because they fear being criticized or blamed. Neither of these approaches would be useful - I approach parenting sessions with kindness, patience, a non-judgmental stance and my own humility as a father who is also very much "a work in progress."
Younger children often do not express their thoughts and feelings directly. In those cases, using play and art materials, children can speak indirectly and still be heard. In addition to symbolic play with toys, I use board games to reduce anxiety, so kids don't feel pressured to talk. Games also provide lots of opportunities to work through feelings of aggression, anxiety, competition, disappointment, and self esteem. As children get older, they're able to engage more in talk therapy, but I continue to use elements of play and art whenever possible.
With adolescents, I follow a few important guidelines:
-Teens are hungry to talk to adults who are truly interested and curious about their inner world.
-Patience and flexibility are essential in creating a strong therapeutic relationship. Therapists must enter the teenager's world and let them know the therapist is always trying to understand their point of view - teens need a heavy dose of validation (which is not the same as agreeing with everything they do or say.)
-Motions towards independence and autonomy are often difficult for parents to understand and tolerate. However, these behaviors are signs of health, not pathology. By working with parents (see below) I help them to leave room for their teen's often frustrating efforts towards separation and individuation, but also identify boundaries for counterproductive, and dangerous behavior.
Working with children of any age also requires collaborating closely with parents. I believe that raising a child is one of the most rewarding, but also most difficult endeavors possible. In periodic parent sessions, I provide mothers and fathers with guidance, empathy and lots of encouragement for the huge challenges of family life. Parents are often hesitant to work with therapists, because they fear being criticized or blamed. Neither of these approaches would be useful - I approach parenting sessions with kindness, patience, a non-judgmental stance and my own humility as a father who is also very much "a work in progress."